Imagine that you are on a cruise ship. Not just any cruise ship—New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski's Party Ship, run by Norwegian Cruise Line. The smell of the briney sea mingles with the smell of bro sweat and frozen margaritas. The sun beams down onto the deck, an intoxicating catalyst. All is well. Nobody has chest hair. You hear somebody shout "69" a few feet away; a second later, the inimitable sound of tin on skull, a crushed Natty Lite can to the dome. The host is in his element. All is well.
But what's that smell now, sagging into the summer scent? That, my jolly reveler, is poop.
TMZ is reporting this morning that Waka Flocka Flame and DJ Whoo Kid are among a number of celebrities who have been banned from Norwegian Cruise Line. The ban apparently stems from an incident on Gronkowski's cruise last year, when somebody pooped on deck and left a $20 bill on top of the mess as a tip for the cleaner.
Here's a quote from DJ Whoo Kid, per TMZ:
"Somebody took a dump on the ship. Somebody pooped behind the pool and put a $20 bill on the poop."
DJ Whoo Kid was happy to point fingers, suggesting that Flo Rida, another now-banned guest of Gronk, "looks like the type of guy who would do that."
Is this like rappers throwin' shade at each other? Back in the day they were killing each other and now they're pointing fingers at poop. They've definitely progressed.
Now, if someone told you there was infinite piles of poop with $20 on each one, how many would you clean up? We'd do it all day long. We'd quit the podcast. We clean up baby poop, dog shit, vomit, anything all day long, so this would be a breeze.
All in all, we'd love for Waka Flocka or any rapper to come to our house, take a shit, and leave us $20.