HALLOWEEN: A CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE (SORT OF)

Halloween: to celebrate, or not to celebrate? This is easily one of the most important questions any Christian will face in his or her lifetime, right? Keep reading and you'll see that Joey thinks we may have more important issues to worry about. In the meantime, let's discuss an actual important issue - fruit candy or chocolate candy? Share your thoughts below!

So, should Christians celebrate Halloween, a night when neighbors and strangers you haven’t met are actually fellowshipping, walking around, laughing, having fun, and being generous?

I mean, this is the only socially acceptable and universally welcomed time for strangers to knock on the door of other strangers’ doors.  Should Christians do their own thing on their own church property, opening it up to the community, but separating from the very neighbors they supposedly believe they ought to be a light to?

Man, honestly?  I don’t want to talk about this.  You make the call.  You have that discussion.  I want to ask some more important questions, and make some profoundly and potentially bizarre observations.  These questions and thoughts, I HOPE, touch your soul, convict your heart and bring about an inexpressible sense of community with other believers.  Okay, here we go.  Comments are welcomed.

  1. What the HELL is so scary about a black cat?  For a small, four-legged mammal, they sure outdid themselves by qualifying for one of the most common characters of fear during the Halloween season.  Good job, black cats.  You’re not even a Bobcat but you pulled off being one of the most popular scary figures of Halloween.

  2. I heard of an actual church that had a “zombie-Lazarus-raised-from-the-dead” exhibit.  All I have to say there is…W…..T……F..   You are a messed up church.

  3. Confession time:  I have ZERO problems with stealing Halloween candy from my kids.  Everything they have is mine; and they’ll never know.  If it weren’t for me, they wouldn’t have gone trick-or-treating in the first place. Plus, all that candy is really bad for them.

  4. The REAL debate?   Fruit candy or chocolate candy? Comment below please. What do you think? This is serious.

  5. Wouldn’t it be crazy if there were a bunch of Halloween songs? Would there be such a thing as “Halloween Caroling”?

  6. “The ghosts are going to scare you.

  7. The zombies will eat you.

  8. Vampires will suck you.

  9. Fear is in the air.  Nightmares are coming. Lalalalalalalalala!”

  10. Too much is put into the quality of a trick-or-treat bag. It doesn’t matter, folks. I wish we’d all just declare “grocery bag Halloween year” to save us all some damn money. Who the HELL cares where we put the candy?

  11. What’s the cut-off age, in your opinion, for trick-or-treating?  I love the high school student that paints a couple of scars on his face, places fangs in his mouth and calls it a day.  FREE CANDY! Tipping our hats. You have no shame.  And you should.

  12. I was thinking about making cupcakes for the trick-or-treaters and just throw them in their bags.  Non-wrapped cupcakes.  They say, “Trick or treat,” I show that  cupcake to them, and then quickly throw it in their bag.  You think they’ll eat it?

  13. At the end of the day, the decision of whether or not you celebrate Halloween is between you and Satan, since it’s his holiday. Wait, no, I forgot. Jesus is God over Halloween, too.

We don’t care what you do with Halloween, but if you believe in Jesus, know that He is monumentally bigger than this teeny-tiny spooky issue.