EXCUSE ME FLIGHT ATTENDANT THERE’S AN ASSHOLE IN 34E

I live on the East Coast, so when Emery starts a tour in Seattle I have a long trip ahead of me. A week ago, I bid farewell to my family. Before I left we prayed for safe travels and asked God to help me represent Him well as Emery toured the country. I then boarded my six hour flight to Seattle and immediately forgot everything I had just asked God to do in my life. I started this tour seething with hate for the jack-ass that sat behind me for that six-hour flight. After I got bored of imagining myself toss this dude out of an emergency exit at 30,000 feet, I decided to write out the experience and share it with all my BadChristians.

I’m on my flight to Seattle and feeling pretty good.  I really don’t get scared on airplanes, but there is one thing about this flight that is causing me a little panic and anxiety.

I have the pleasure of having a complete and utter asshole sitting directly behind me.

He is talking loudly and constantly about how bad this plane is for him.  He is complaining and being rude to the flight attendants.  I feel like everything that I need to know about this guy is obvious in the way he’s talking to people.  But, the things about this man that I’ve become the most familiar with are his knees.  They are directly in my back.  They seem rather boney for a larger, older man.

There is also another thing I have learned about this gentleman:

I think I might, on some level, hate this guy.

Wow!  Now that’s hardcore being a BadChristian.  Let me clarify though, so you understand what I’m feeling.

At this exact moment, the way I feel about the man sitting right behind me is that I hope he goes the hell away from me, and I never have see or hear from him again.  I mean, I almost think that if I was sitting in the emergency aisle I might throw him out the door of the plane.  With a parachute of course, but probably just so I wouldn’t go to jail.  I basically just want this dumbass to finish being in any part of my life.  If I could scrub my brain to erase the sound of his obnoxiously loud voice, I would.

Does that clear things up?

Now if I were you, my first thoughts and questions would be, “Have you talked to him?  Why don’t you just ask him to be more careful of your seat?  Why not just put on your headphones or watch the movie you brought with you?”  The answers are simple, but I would also say they’re sinful.

I am kind of enjoying the anger I have for this guy.  I mean, I knew it was coming as soon as I sat down, and I just didn’t avoid it.  I almost can’t avoid it.  God always gives you a way out of sin, but right at this moment, I just want to be filled with unrighteous anger at this smelly and obnoxious Alaskan ( That’s not an insult, I actually heard him say he’s Alaskan.  Oh yeah, I heard it because he’s made a friend).

Stuff like this lets me know that God has a sense of humor.  The jerk behind me has met an extremely opinionated, raspy, smoker-voiced friend.  They’re now both talking loudly about the stupidity of ObamaCare and how the flight attendants won’t bring them mojitos.

Is Jesus punking me right now?  Where’s Ashton?

So what’s the point of this post?  I just wanted to confess, I guess.  We here at BC get a lot of stuff wrong and we sin just like everybody else.  I just wanted to tell a story that doesn’t have redemption and is fully wrong, even though it’s written by a Christian.

I don’t even want to ask for forgiveness right now.  As this idiot is yelling at the flight attendants as they walk by saying, “You guys need to watch that cart,” – even though his leg is stretched out into the aisle and his foot is up by me – I want to judge him through my lens of right and wrong.  I don’t like him so I’ll just be mad at him instead of confront him like Jesus would.  It’s way more fun to just call him bad names in my mind.  I know I can’t be like this, so I want to tell you about it so I can do better.

Confessing our sins brings them to the light and then Jesus can change an angry heart like mine.

In this exact moment of my life, I need Jesus.

Lord help me, because I just want to quietly sit here and stir in my anger towards this piece of… I’ve gotta stop!!

Without Jesus, my simple annoyance would grow and it is what I would become; there wouldn’t be any me, eventually.  I don’t want my identity to be in my judgment and anger towards others.

But, being honest here, I just want to get even with this dude.  Y’all pray for me.

EDIT:

Okay, so I have to add this.   It’s been about 10 minutes since I wrote this and now this large, obnoxious, jerk-face man just apologized to me for bumping my chair and gave me a friendly smile… Jesus is just cracking up right now.