“I’m dumb, she’s a lesbian. I thought I had found the one.” -Rivers Cuomo of Weezer.
To love and to be loved. We all want this. Because of who we are, not what we offer or express. Who we are is more important than how we identify in this world. Being gay or straight doesn’t stop or start love. In fact, neither orientations are required. To be loved, all that’s needed is you. But being gay is such a polarizing subject. That's why the title of this post happens to relate to and is also a lyric from a favorite Weezer song of mine, “Pink Triangle.”
I love this song. (Here is a free download of Joey singing a cover that Matt recorded in 1999!) It’s about a guy falling in love with a lesbian. A heterosexual asking a homosexual to give them a chance. How tragically beautiful. But I also think it poses an interesting question for Christians: Could everyone be a little gay? Because Christians think they might turn gay, is it possible that’s why they worry about homosexuality? That feels like that was the most absurd question I have ever written. It’s like saying gayness is akin to a cold. “If you get around it too much, then you’ll catch it! Watch out!”
Let me make a blank statement for Christians, which I think sums up the last few decades:
Christians aren’t scared of becoming gay; they just don’t want it to become acceptable. No big deal, guys.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Wait! But that’s a hell of a big deal.
This seems to imply that if being gay becomes acceptable then we might accept it. Is the Christian stance on being gay basically just to keep from having to think about it? Do we just want to suppress those folks? Do we think that we’ll heal the world from homosexuality by stopping it from spreading? Do Christians think it’s spreading?
One side says it’s all about love and freedom; the other believes it to be a sin against your body and God. Gays are flaming, and Christians are hating.
Let’s face the facts: Homosexuality is not going away. We can all admit that right? Homosexuality has been around for a long, long time (even Ken Hamm would say for like 5811 years or so), and every day people are being born who will identify as gay. So, as Christians, why are we saying that we just don’t want to see it. And if we are saying that, why?
The truth is we are afraid.
We’re afraid—if homosexuality becomes acceptable and becomes a norm in our society—we (or our kids) might think it’s okay, might actually accept homosexuality, and have gay friends. And if that happens, we’re afraid we might even be led to become gay.
As Christians, we seem to have this corporate idea that stopping homosexuality will make the world a better place. “We have to band together to stop the gays!” I mean, it’s like, from the Christian worldview, homosexuality is the number one sin alive, and its prevention or removal gets us a non-stop guarantee to heaven. It’s worse than sex trafficking, poverty, racism, and obesity. We can accept those.
Stopping gay people seems to be how we are trying to share the Gospel with the world. Weird.
Now, I probably have already gotten in a lot of trouble with both straights and gays with this post so far, so I might as well dig my grave a little deeper. Just to get us all thinking, below you can read some common questions (as well as as my answers to them) about homosexuality. But I also want you to answer them too! Share yours on our Facebook.
Q: Is a person born gay?
A: Many or most Christians say no to this. It’s a choice… But we don’t have issues over acceptance with people being born straight, being born with an alcoholic gene, or being born with a weakness for anger, or for men to seemingly have a stronger sex drive as opposed to many females.
Q: Why are Christians so adamant to stand against homosexuality, but also seem less interested in other sins, such as obesity?
A: We show less concern over obesity in our children, who can likely suffer from terrible symptoms and diseases related to this lifestyle, than we do homosexuality. Obesity is more deadly and actually inhibits a huge part of a person’s life.
Q: Why are Christians so opposed to marriage equality?
A: Straight people marry every weekend in churches across the world, and many couldn’t care less about adhering to a Christian lifestyle. I have several friends who had sex outside of their marriage and, eventually, outside of marriage (again) through either cheating or divorce. Why aren’t we outraged and talking to our senators about this?
Q: Would it be easy to stop your sexuality if it said to in the Bible?
A: Not for me. Also, porn is sexual sin, and Christians aren’t doing too well at stopping themselves from looking at it.
I can’t wait to read your answers! Again, both Christians and gay people will most likely be very angry. Not my goal, but somehow BadChristian is great at pissing people off no matter what. Please think it through before you let it fly, though. Either way, I will read your responses and, of course, thank you for taking the time out of your day to say I am, indeed, a heretic. That, or I’m Satan.
My point is just to challenge Christians to not act out of fear or disgust and to think about how Jesus would respond to people and not to sin. Do you trust Jesus? Do you believe He is stronger than what you can’t control? Can you get your kids to Heaven, or is your responsibility just to show them Jesus and then do your best?
I will be extremely transparent here for a moment and say, at this point in my life, I believe that homosexuality is a sin. But so is sex outside of marriage between a man and a woman. A sin of which I am guilty, along with most pastors, priests, seminary professors, and TV evangelists.
“Oh but that was back then, Toby. Now that I’m changed, I have overcome it! I have grace.” BULL. SHIT.
We can’t say that we were weak and didn’t see sin in the overall picture. That’s like saying we should receive grace for our past sins, which we didn’t see clearly, but that same grace does not apply to current gay folks? What the hell?!
I’ll even go one further: there’s a good chance one day that my three children will have sex before marriage. Please come picket outside my door to stop them! I need help.
Christians have fallen for a lie that being gay is the ultimate sin. If we don’t try to stop that lie now, who knows what humanity will look like 50 years from now. And we do have to stop being afraid. We need to stop hating the sin and just focus on revealing what Jesus is doing in our lives and why He’s a great guy to know — no matter where you’re at in life.
It seems like the best place gay or straight people could be is at church. So why not invite a gay person to sit beside you this Sunday, and let them see why God is so good? After service, invite them and their partner to your community group.
And I’ll make sure I do that too.
Love you all.